Edition 2, page 3

FRONTSLIDER’S IRONING BOARD

Serbian-Russian Orthodox Church:

The orthodox church celebrates the birth of Christ on January 6 (and it is not the only cultural tradition to do so), and for those who tire of the pre-Xmas rush month and don’t want to succumb to ‘December rage’, setting the Christmas clock forward almost a fortnight can prove beneficial to family relationships, work-life balances, and the bank balance (Orthodox Christians don’t feel any pressure to buy presents before Boxing day sales!).

This frontslider needed to delve into the depths of stoicism to endure the full orthodox nativity service, at only two and a half hours of standing up, it’s not the shortest religious service available. Warning: those following this frontslider’s path will need patience, the ability to cross oneself and/or bow at the drop of a hat, and the understanding of the Serbian or Russian language would probably help as well. Not understanding Serbian or Russian, my focus changed from listening to the Word, to enjoying the Spirit, and enjoying the Word all the more when the priest spoke in English. This priest’s message was about being in/with/through Christ. *shrug* Don’t ask me, sometimes I don’t understand English. In fact, maybe I was just daydreaming, but the priest had a bit of the rapper about him – a cool hat, oversized clothes, a voice that had rhythm, backed by a vocal team that couldn’t sing in tune (maybe weren’t even trying). The visuals were glowing and iconic, strengthened by the strong smell of incense, even the bible that the priest read from was a work of art in itself.

The congregation was not static even though they were standing up, and in between bows and self-crossings, kept themselves busy with lighting, blowing out, and re-lighting candles that would get blown out by the wind. Orthodox Christian worship is like burlesque for pyromaniacs, and I’m sure obsessive-compulsive types are comfortable here as well.

The orthodox church maintains it’s status as one of the oldest and best-preserved of the Christian churches, along with the Armenian and Coptic churches, and as such, has a hardcore and severely mystical worship service, only enhanced by language barriers. But, if Ethiopian Christians can worship happily in a Russian orthodox church, why not you? This church is looked after by a sister of the cloth, and a lay minister, as a real priest only performs services once a month. The Russian Orthodox clergy has the same recruiting problems as the Roman Catholic church, but if you want to be a minister in the oldest international Christian church, I’m told a good degree can be organized online through some Finnish university.